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how could i be so heartless

i hate what i feel rite now..i feel like a bad girll..soo bad..looks like i don't gratefull for what i had now..i'm wasting it every single breath of mine..i had the best thing in the world but i reluctant to feel good about it...reluctant to enjoy what i had..i know i shouldn't...i had the most perfect but i want the imperfection that i know later will make me suffer but that's make me happy..that give me the adrenaline i want no just a static..it is soooo static!got it!i don't like that,i want it up and down like a wheel!give me the feeling that i will be in tears of losing it....give me that!!
I know i'm hurting it...i know i treat it so badly...and i'm sorry for that...that is my fault,i know it...i am a heartless person oke,so forgive me...i wanna change but i have no idea whether i could...i will try...but deep in my heart,i want it to change just the way i want...
Heartless girl

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